TiRN Outtake.
Mar. 11th, 2009 03:19 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
edgewareroadTitle: Getting Better (Georgie's advice: "Just call it 'the saddest thing ever. Possibly sadder than TiRN itself.'")
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
edgewareroad (With help from clovermews, of course.)
Disclaimer: The characters all belong to J.K. Rowling. Especially Harry. You might have heard of his books.
Pairing/Characters: Harry, Teddy(/James implied)
Rating: PG-13 for angst. I'm sorry. It is like a festival of sadness.
Summary: An outtake from![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
thisisreallynow. Teddy gets home from the Hospital Wing.
Teddy backs into the fire, powder slipping from the hand extended behind him, without taking his eyes off of James. As the flames turn green, he smiles sadly and waves. In an instant, James is gone. He feels a sudden lurch and nausea that has nothing to do with the spinning building as he travels.
Teddy stumbles from his own fireplace seconds later. Out of James’s sight, Teddy’s restraint has finally crumbled, and he is already choking. He dry heaves twice before reaching the loo and throwing himself onto the tiled floor before the toilet. Teddy retches into the porcelain bowl. His mind races, creating sick, swirling images of James at the mercy of four other boys, of James in incredible pain. He shakes his head, willing the stream of horrifying pictures to stop.
After what feels like hours, Teddy manages to stand, gripping the towel rack for support. Though he is shaking violently now, he feels steady on his feet. He walks stiffly toward the living room. Night has fallen since he entered the bathroom. His flat is dark, the only light reflected from the streetlamps below or the blinking pinpricks of far away cars and buildings. Teddy makes no move to shed more light on the room but, exhausted, looks for a place to lie down. He notices Horatio perched on the back of the couch with a small note tied to one leg. As he collapses, the owl descends, settling on Teddy’s chest. Teddy strokes Horatio’s head absently, glad for the small comfort as he takes the letter and opens it with one shaking hand. Squinting in the dim light, he reads:
Teddy,
I hope you haven’t forgotten that my door is always open to you.
-Harry
Teddy sits up instantly, cupping Horatio in both hands so as not to dislodge him. His head complains at the sudden movement, and, placing the owl beside him, Teddy presses his palms to his temples for a moment to ease the pain. Teddy stands and crosses the room in an instant. His head is spinning, but he refuses to stop and think, to second guess himself. Instead, he throws a handful of powder into the flames, steps inside, and finds the words “Potter Residence” falling from his mouth without conscious thought.
The light in the Potter’s family room takes Teddy by surprise, and he winces as his eyes adjust. Harry, sitting in the armchair in the corner, quickly puts his papers aside.
“Teddy,” he says, rising from the chair.
“I didn’t know what else to do,” Teddy says, reading from Harry’s expression that he must look as lost as he feels. Something begins to pull in his lower belly, and Teddy begins to think that he shouldn’t have come.
“Then I’m glad you came here.”
“Is…Is Ginny alright?”
“She’s asleep upstairs with Lily.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Not at all. I was awake.”
“I just left James.” Teddy’s voice breaks. He looks hastily at his shoes.
“Teddy, it’s okay. You don’t have to be strong.” Suddenly, Harry is embracing him, and Teddy feels himself collapse against the support. Before he can stop himself, Teddy is sobbing, his face pressed to the shoulder of Harry’s jumper.
“I know,” Harry says comfortingly, “You don’t want anyone to hurt the person you love. I remember.”
“I didn’t…want…to…do this,” Teddy sobs, gasping for air.
“Teddy,” Harry begins, a gentle admonishment which lessens the crushing pressure of guilt in Teddy’s chest. He walks with Teddy to the couch, where they both sit. Harry allows Teddy to collect himself, rubbing his godson’s back when he heaves again and again, trying to regulate his breathing.
“You alright?” Harry asks quietly.
“I’m sorry,” Teddy answers, his throat dry.
“You have nothing to be sorry about.”
“He’s your son. You shouldn’t have to—”
“You’re as good as my son,” Harry interrupts forcefully. “Teddy, listen to me. I should have told you this a long time ago, when you started seeing James. There is nothing you could possibly do that would make you any less a part of my family. I don’t care what happens between you and James. You are my godson. Do you understand me?”
Teddy swallows slowly and nods, unable to speak. Around the lump in his throat, he finally manages to say, in a whisper, “I thought he was going to die.”
Harry meets Teddy’s eyes. “Me, too.”
“How could they?” The question that has been on Teddy’s mind for days is suddenly on his lips before he can stop it.
Harry hesitates for a moment. “I don’t have an answer for you, not really. Just that— some people hate without understanding …even now. But you know James well enough to know that he’ll get through this. He’s strong, Teddy. He’s going to be okay.”
“He’s not okay,” Teddy answers in a whisper.
“Not yet, but he will be…with our help.”
“I don’t know how to fix this, Harry. He’s broken. I want to help him, and I don’t even know what to begin to say to him…He’s not going to want me to touch him when they tried—” Teddy stops short, choking again.
“Teddy, you can’t seriously think that,” Harry answers quickly, putting an arm around Teddy’s shoulders, “He just needs you to be there. As yourself. You don’t need to have all the answers. I don’t even have all the answers. I’m sure that he just wants his…boyfriend to help him through this.”
“He doesn’t deserve this. I—I wish it had been me instead.”
“Because you deserve this? Teddy, please—”
“No. That’s not what I meant. I just…would rather go through it than watch him go through it.”
“You love him,” Harry says simply, letting the full weight of the realisation sink in for a moment. “It’s not just—You really love him.”
“I love him,” Teddy answers with a quiet force, meeting Harry’s eyes.
Harry sits still for a moment, before patting Teddy’s shoulder somewhat awkwardly. “You’re a good boy…man,” he says, “Always have been.”
“Thank you,” Teddy responds, feeling a tightness in his chest.
“I’m glad he’s with…you,” Harry manages, after another hesitation, “And it broke my heart, but he will get through this.”
Teddy nods again, this time with resolve. He feels strangely calm, as though the very sound of Harry’s voice has quieted the churning chaos in his mind.
“Harry? I mean thank you for…for everything.”
“You don’t have to thank me, Teddy.”
“Yes, I do,” Teddy says, “I want to. I can’t even tell you what it’s meant that you’ve always—”
“I know,” Harry cuts him off before he can finish, “I know what that’s like, and I wouldn’t change anything. Besides, you were an angel, comparatively speaking. You’re talking to the father of James Sirius Potter.”
“…Trouble,” Teddy murmurs, his smile lopsided but genuine.
“This has been very dramatic,” Harry says, chuckling as he stands, “And I think we need some tea.”
Author:
edgewareroad (With help from clovermews, of course.)Disclaimer: The characters all belong to J.K. Rowling. Especially Harry. You might have heard of his books.
Pairing/Characters: Harry, Teddy(/James implied)
Rating: PG-13 for angst. I'm sorry. It is like a festival of sadness.
Summary: An outtake from
thisisreallynow. Teddy gets home from the Hospital Wing.Teddy backs into the fire, powder slipping from the hand extended behind him, without taking his eyes off of James. As the flames turn green, he smiles sadly and waves. In an instant, James is gone. He feels a sudden lurch and nausea that has nothing to do with the spinning building as he travels.
Teddy stumbles from his own fireplace seconds later. Out of James’s sight, Teddy’s restraint has finally crumbled, and he is already choking. He dry heaves twice before reaching the loo and throwing himself onto the tiled floor before the toilet. Teddy retches into the porcelain bowl. His mind races, creating sick, swirling images of James at the mercy of four other boys, of James in incredible pain. He shakes his head, willing the stream of horrifying pictures to stop.
After what feels like hours, Teddy manages to stand, gripping the towel rack for support. Though he is shaking violently now, he feels steady on his feet. He walks stiffly toward the living room. Night has fallen since he entered the bathroom. His flat is dark, the only light reflected from the streetlamps below or the blinking pinpricks of far away cars and buildings. Teddy makes no move to shed more light on the room but, exhausted, looks for a place to lie down. He notices Horatio perched on the back of the couch with a small note tied to one leg. As he collapses, the owl descends, settling on Teddy’s chest. Teddy strokes Horatio’s head absently, glad for the small comfort as he takes the letter and opens it with one shaking hand. Squinting in the dim light, he reads:
Teddy,
I hope you haven’t forgotten that my door is always open to you.
-Harry
Teddy sits up instantly, cupping Horatio in both hands so as not to dislodge him. His head complains at the sudden movement, and, placing the owl beside him, Teddy presses his palms to his temples for a moment to ease the pain. Teddy stands and crosses the room in an instant. His head is spinning, but he refuses to stop and think, to second guess himself. Instead, he throws a handful of powder into the flames, steps inside, and finds the words “Potter Residence” falling from his mouth without conscious thought.
The light in the Potter’s family room takes Teddy by surprise, and he winces as his eyes adjust. Harry, sitting in the armchair in the corner, quickly puts his papers aside.
“Teddy,” he says, rising from the chair.
“I didn’t know what else to do,” Teddy says, reading from Harry’s expression that he must look as lost as he feels. Something begins to pull in his lower belly, and Teddy begins to think that he shouldn’t have come.
“Then I’m glad you came here.”
“Is…Is Ginny alright?”
“She’s asleep upstairs with Lily.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Not at all. I was awake.”
“I just left James.” Teddy’s voice breaks. He looks hastily at his shoes.
“Teddy, it’s okay. You don’t have to be strong.” Suddenly, Harry is embracing him, and Teddy feels himself collapse against the support. Before he can stop himself, Teddy is sobbing, his face pressed to the shoulder of Harry’s jumper.
“I know,” Harry says comfortingly, “You don’t want anyone to hurt the person you love. I remember.”
“I didn’t…want…to…do this,” Teddy sobs, gasping for air.
“Teddy,” Harry begins, a gentle admonishment which lessens the crushing pressure of guilt in Teddy’s chest. He walks with Teddy to the couch, where they both sit. Harry allows Teddy to collect himself, rubbing his godson’s back when he heaves again and again, trying to regulate his breathing.
“You alright?” Harry asks quietly.
“I’m sorry,” Teddy answers, his throat dry.
“You have nothing to be sorry about.”
“He’s your son. You shouldn’t have to—”
“You’re as good as my son,” Harry interrupts forcefully. “Teddy, listen to me. I should have told you this a long time ago, when you started seeing James. There is nothing you could possibly do that would make you any less a part of my family. I don’t care what happens between you and James. You are my godson. Do you understand me?”
Teddy swallows slowly and nods, unable to speak. Around the lump in his throat, he finally manages to say, in a whisper, “I thought he was going to die.”
Harry meets Teddy’s eyes. “Me, too.”
“How could they?” The question that has been on Teddy’s mind for days is suddenly on his lips before he can stop it.
Harry hesitates for a moment. “I don’t have an answer for you, not really. Just that— some people hate without understanding …even now. But you know James well enough to know that he’ll get through this. He’s strong, Teddy. He’s going to be okay.”
“He’s not okay,” Teddy answers in a whisper.
“Not yet, but he will be…with our help.”
“I don’t know how to fix this, Harry. He’s broken. I want to help him, and I don’t even know what to begin to say to him…He’s not going to want me to touch him when they tried—” Teddy stops short, choking again.
“Teddy, you can’t seriously think that,” Harry answers quickly, putting an arm around Teddy’s shoulders, “He just needs you to be there. As yourself. You don’t need to have all the answers. I don’t even have all the answers. I’m sure that he just wants his…boyfriend to help him through this.”
“He doesn’t deserve this. I—I wish it had been me instead.”
“Because you deserve this? Teddy, please—”
“No. That’s not what I meant. I just…would rather go through it than watch him go through it.”
“You love him,” Harry says simply, letting the full weight of the realisation sink in for a moment. “It’s not just—You really love him.”
“I love him,” Teddy answers with a quiet force, meeting Harry’s eyes.
Harry sits still for a moment, before patting Teddy’s shoulder somewhat awkwardly. “You’re a good boy…man,” he says, “Always have been.”
“Thank you,” Teddy responds, feeling a tightness in his chest.
“I’m glad he’s with…you,” Harry manages, after another hesitation, “And it broke my heart, but he will get through this.”
Teddy nods again, this time with resolve. He feels strangely calm, as though the very sound of Harry’s voice has quieted the churning chaos in his mind.
“Harry? I mean thank you for…for everything.”
“You don’t have to thank me, Teddy.”
“Yes, I do,” Teddy says, “I want to. I can’t even tell you what it’s meant that you’ve always—”
“I know,” Harry cuts him off before he can finish, “I know what that’s like, and I wouldn’t change anything. Besides, you were an angel, comparatively speaking. You’re talking to the father of James Sirius Potter.”
“…Trouble,” Teddy murmurs, his smile lopsided but genuine.
“This has been very dramatic,” Harry says, chuckling as he stands, “And I think we need some tea.”
